Introduction
Self-esteem is a measure of how much we like and respect ourselves and our qualities and achievements. Essentially, it's how we feel about ourselves.
It's hard to improve your self-esteem if you don't know what it is or how to work on it. Self-esteem includes your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings about yourself and who you are as a person. It's not just how other people see you, in fact, it's always been about how you see yourself.
Many people have a hard time with self-esteem. When they don’t take the opportunity to love themselves through the difficult times, it’s common for more self-hate to happen rather than the benefits of self-love.
Perhaps you’ve encountered this in your life? This isn’t a judgment. I have been in that exact place of not knowing what was wrong and assuming there was something wrong with me. I remember wanting to stay in bed and not wanting to go outside. Until I built my confidence and self-esteem, my life had not been living fully. The good news is that you can build your self-esteem too!
Here are seven ways to enhance your self-esteem!
1. Self Esteem is about being nice to yourself.
It can be difficult to understand why being kind to yourself is important. In a culture that sees self-blame, self-criticism, and self-flagellation as synonymous with taking responsibility, kindness can seem a bit complex. Self-compassion means being kind to yourself by recognizing that you are not perfect. It's about being tolerant of your own faults and flaws. Understanding that you are human. Self-compassion doesn't mean being hard on yourself because you have faults. Rather, it means being understanding and forgiving of your faults because you are human.
Be your own best friend and stop being critical of yourself. If someone is critical of you, let it go in one ear and out the other. Know that you are enough when you look in the mirror and see your best self-staring back at you. It's fine to take time for yourself and invest in your own growth, ability, and potential. Be confident that you can achieve more than you think you can. Remember, you've come this far, so you must be doing something right even on those days when it doesn’t feel that way.
2. Positive thinking helps you improve your self-esteem.
This is a big one! Positive thinking and optimism can be effective stress management tools as well as tools that support healthy self-esteem. Having a more positive outlook on life can provide you with some health benefits as well. Studies have found that having a positive outlook can help you live longer, have a more robust immune system and manage stress better. Being positive about yourself is essential if you want to improve your self-esteem.
Positive thinking techniques to get you started!
● Focus on the good things in your life. "Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do." - Dr Rober Schuller. Even in the worst of times, there is something good in your life, whether the kindness of family, friends, or strangers. Some people like to write down all the good things that have happened in their lives. Then keep this list for a few weeks to reflect on the positive events. Think about what is good in your life and memorialise them somehow. in written or picture form. Then, when you are feeling low, look at what you have recorded. By focusing on the good things in your life you begin to let the negative things slide away.
● Practice gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful emotion that increases happiness and well-being. When you are grateful, you think of good things that happened to you or someone else. It's a powerful emotion, and you feel good when you are grateful. Think of people, moments, or things that bring you some comfort or happiness.
● Learn from your mistakes. If you mess up, you mess up. It happens, but you need to realise your mistakes and learn from them and move on. You can't change what has happened but you can make the right decisions now and move forward. Dwelling in the misery of a mistake will only cause you more pain and weigh you down. By learning and letting go you free yourself to carry on.
● Deepen your friendship and communication with people you trust. Stop internalising everything and let people know how you are feeling. By achieving a greater understanding of each other, you will find it easier to resolve any difficulties that you may have. Recognise that you have a unique set of gifts and talents. Increase your ability to accept and respect others’ differences. Remember, the more you understand, accept, and appreciate each other, the more you accept yourself and the more happiness enters your life.
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3. Be comfortable with your feelings.
Try to accept your feelings and forgive yourself for your mistakes. Accept yourself for who you are and keep going. For example, if you find that you’re harbouring ill feelings towards someone and you know it’s no longer helping you, accept that you feel angry, bitter, betrayed, or upset but don’t stay with those emotions. Recognise and release them.
It is okay to feel sad or happy. You can be mad at times and you can feel scared. But allow these emotions to come and to move through you instead of keeping you stuck. There is a voice that tells you that you're not capable of doing something that is a difficult one to overcome but you can by accepting your feelings and appreciating who you are.
Develop an awareness of your thoughts. Watch what you're thinking about and recognise that just because you believe something doesn't mean it's true. You have the power to control negative thoughts and turn them into positive actions. Don't let your emotions take over you!
4. Learn to do what makes you happy.
Living a life where you do what makes you happy might sound a little selfish, but it's a great philosophy to live by, especially when it's a philosophy shared with loved ones. Now, I'm not saying you should abandon your responsibilities and just focus on what makes you happy. In other words, set up your life so that you are happy doing what you do, and love yourself enough to be kind to yourself. When you feel happy and fulfilled, your success in life will grow exponentially. You will want to take on new risks, forge new relationships, and you will be excited about your future. You will work hard today to achieve your goals.
You may be tempted to try something new, such as start a business, or an entirely different career, learn how to drive, go back to school, move to another city or even another country.
Write out a list of things that you enjoy doing. Maybe it’s reading your favourite book, going out for a bike ride, taking part in your favourite hobbies, making more time with your friends, or simply getting out of the house and going for a walk.
Take a few minutes each day to change up your schedule so that you have time for the things you enjoy. Doing these simple changes will help you relax and feel better about yourself. They are simple ways to feel better and they are very effective. Try some and see how they work for you!
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5. Stop letting the fear of failure control your life.
You can't control everything that will happen to you and you can't control what other people think of you. Avoiding fears also makes them ten times worse. When you're afraid it causes unnecessary stress. But fear is much more than stress. It is a feeling of anxiety, and it is a feeling that something terrible will happen. Fear eats away at your self-esteem. However, in most cases, the worst never happens; it is just our minds spinning out too many anxious thoughts.
Some fear coping strategies:
● Imagine the worst and then look at the evidence – what is it true? What can you do to confront or manage this? Take action, come up with a plan, and try it! Evaluate what you need to do. Choose a course of action and stick to it!
● Name the fear - Sometimes, stating your fear gives you the strength to deal with them. Say your fear out loud, write it down, or focus your mind on it. When you try to ignore your fear, it grows and when you face it, it shrinks.
● Educate yourself – Learn to get the information you need to examine the situation based on facts instead of speculation. Learning about your situation will help you make calmer decisions, and it also increases your self-confidence and commitment to challenge yourself. Without pushing yourself, you can never overcome fear.
Fight your fears like you would fight any other opponent. Dive right in and experience the fear to understand it better. Face your fears head-on for a better understanding of who you are and how best to deal with them. As you become more confident and start speaking up for yourself, you gain a new sense of self-esteem.
6. Challenging Self-limiting Beliefs
Henry Ford once said, "If you think you can or if you think you can't? You're right!" It all depends on what you believe about yourself. Let your self-esteem grow by challenging your self-limiting beliefs.
Often when our self-esteem is low, we believe certain things about ourselves, which are not true. Stop telling yourself you are not good enough. The good news is that you can break a self-limiting belief, and if a belief keeps you from doing something then challenge it.
By taking action and by saying - "I can do this" you will develop a sense of competence and self-worth. After a while, when you tell your mind "I can do this" or "I am capable of doing my best" these new truths and beliefs become part of our subconscious. Also, consider something that you have overcome in the past and remember the steps you took. Because of the steps you took to accomplish your goals in the past, your future achievements are possible.
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7. Keep Moving Forward In Your Career
Becoming confident in interviews takes time. You may feel overwhelmed after your interview, especially if you are trying very hard to impress your future employer. You may think - 'I am not lucky; I won't get the job.' But it's important not to give up so easily. One thing that you can do is to challenge that thought.
How Can I Get Better at Job Interviews?
Luck isn't the criterion for getting a job. You get jobs based on your merit. Remove the limitations of your mind and say "I will do my best in my next interview". Repeat this to yourself several times, as often as you can and you will start to believe that you can do your best!
Alternatively, view this as an opportunity to improve your performance in job interviews. This is something you do have control over. Consider taking courses in employability or seeking out interview coaching, or practising with a friend. Try these methods and see how your "luck" or interview performance changes. Good thing is, the more you do for yourself, the higher your self-esteem will be.
How Do I improve My Self-Esteem in the Workplace?
Self-esteem at work is vital for anyone who wants to be successful and happy in their career. If you're going to be effective, you need to be working with people who respect you. You need your team to trust your judgement and you need to trust your team.
Some things you can do in the workplace:
● Evaluate your performance - When you are self-aware and recognise your strengths and weaknesses, you can work to improve your performance, both individually and as part of a team. By identifying your strengths and weaknesses, you can make the most of the skills you possess.
● Reward your success in work - Motivating yourself is a common way to increase positive feelings about something. Giving yourself rewards is one of the most powerful ways to do that, whether for adults or children. You can either have a Friday treat or congratulate yourself on finishing your tasks on time. You did this, no one else!
● Ask for help - Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you needed to make a significant decision, but you weren't sure who to ask? Have you ever wished you had someone to talk to? Perhaps someone who has been through the same thing or someone who can give you good advice. Find that person and don’t be afraid or too proud to ask for help.
Seeing visible improvements in your work will increase your confidence in your abilities and a great way to recognise this is to evaluate your performance. If you know your strengths, you can utilise these in the future, and, likewise, you can work on your weaknesses to help you improve in your role.
Many people at the company know the ins and outs of the industry and will be eager to share their knowledge. It's not always easy to ask for help, but it is worth it. You never know what you can learn from people with experience. After all, the worst they can say is "no." It's unlikely that people at the company will say no to questions. They work there for a reason, and they'll probably want to share what they know.
If you need to ask for an introduction, advice, or help, don't hesitate. It's that simple! Building a relationship with others can vastly improve your self-esteem and work confidence.
8. Focus on the present.
Do you remember where you were five years ago? Look back on your life. How do you feel about the decisions you've made? What impact have past actions made on your life now?
Did you know that you can improve your self-esteem by doing something as simple as focusing on the present? Negative thoughts are tied to the past or future, which makes it hard to feel good about oneself. Sometimes it's hard to not focus on the past or the future, but the more you practice focusing on the present, the better you'll feel!
How can you do this? Next time you're feeling down, try taking a walk, repeating an affirmation, or even just getting outside for some fresh air. You can't change the past. It's time to let go. Let go of the guilt and forgive yourself so you can move in the direction of your dreams.
Strong self-esteem improves when you stop worrying about the past and focus on the present. When dwelling on the past, you put your energy elsewhere. Why not spend time doing what makes you happy? Set goals for yourself that will increase your motivation towards goal completion. If you are trying to get over a specific flaw in yourself, try working on improving that aspect of yourself - it will make you more confident in your abilities!
Today is the opportunity to improve your self-esteem and by doing this you improve your life. This is not the time to procrastinate. Use the tips in this blog to begin your self-esteem journey and don’t look back. Wishing you success!
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Regards, Paula
Career Coach and Employability Trainer
Regards, Paula
Careers and Personal Growth Coach
⭐If you're beginning your journey or seeking a new path, I can help you plan your next steps. ⭐If you need to chat about your career dilemma?
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